All Through the House (2015) Review: Heebie-Jeebie Christmas
“There is a CREATURE stirring…”
Synopsis: A deranged masked Santa-Slayer comes to town for some yuletide-terror. He leaves behind a bloody trail of mutilated bodies as he hunts his way to the front steps of the town’s most feared and notorious home.
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As much as All Through the House is full of plot holes, mediocre acting, and excessive use of blood packs, none of those are truly its claim to fame. No, that honor is bestowed on the sheer amount of What-The-Fuckery crammed into an hour and a half of Christmas-themed horror.
This isn’t a particularly high budget piece. You will not be wowed by the acting (though some actors do better than others – Melynda Kiring has a few great moments). It’s also not particularly funny, which is generally what I look for in the cheap, poorly-done pieces. Fortunately, All Through the House compensates for that lack with bloody special effects and lots of girls in lingerie. It’s also bizarre enough that you’ll end up watching just to figure out where the hell the filmmakers were going with things. (I’m not sure if that counts as a good reason to watch, though.)
To give credit where credit is due, the movie ended up being much more creepy than expected. This is largely due to the killer’s mask and a number of horrifying-looking mannequins used throughout the movie. But there are definitely some elements of the plot that also had me uncomfortable and skeeved out – the end result being that I found All Through the House more unsettling than plenty of polished, high budget horror flicks I’ve seen.
If you like a healthy dose of fucked up with your horror, you should check out this movie. It’s not quite good enough to recommend otherwise, but it can stand on its own as a party movie. Put it on with some friends, play our drinking game, and have a heebie-jeebie Christmas.
Calamity Brains’ Rating: C
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