2-Headed Shark Attack (2012) Review
“1 Body, 2 Heads and 6,000 Teeth!”
Synopsis: Survivors escape to a deserted atoll, after their boat during a Semester at Sea ship is sunk by a mutated two-headed shark. But when the atoll starts flooding, no one is safe from the double jaws of the monster.
2-Headed Shark Attack is pure Asylum schlock: ridiculous plot, bad acting, and incomprehensible decision-making. While sometimes that yields fun results, this is not one of those times. You’ll want friends, booze, or both to make it through this movie.
When a group of college students on a biology field trip are stranded by a damaged boat, their professor (Charlie O’Connell) insists they take the opportunity to explore a nearby atoll while repairs are underway. Since he’s not Miss Frizzle or in any way interesting as a teacher, the coeds split up to get into trouble and get picked off by a shark. But this is no ordinary shark – it has TWO heads, and is therefore ~sUpEr sCaRy~!
Everyone in this movie was clearly cast based on how well they filled out a bathing suit. Carmen Electra and Brooke Hogan have starring roles, backed by some obligatory stereotypical characters like the nerd (David Gallagos) and the jock (Geoff Ward). Acting ranges from poor to abysmal, and unfortunately, the eye candy is not enough to keep audience interest going.
I’m generally on board with pretty people expounding on “science weeps” moments, but even I found this one a grind. A two-headed shark, a sinking ship, a collapsing atoll, epic betrayals, and a tsunami couldn’t keep the tension going. Feel free to sit this one out.
Calamity Brains’ Rating: D+