“Cross your heart… and hope to die” Synopsis: A decades-old folk tale surrounding a deranged murderer killing those who celebrate Valentine’s Day turns out to be true to legend when a group defies the killer’s order and people start turning up dead.

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Calamity Brains:

As slashers go, My Bloody Valentine isn’t particularly frightening – the acting isn’t very believable and neither is the build-up. But what the movie lacks in tension, it makes up for in creativity. The premise, location, and most of the kills are fresh and fun enough to set the movie apart from the pack, even coming out as it did during the ’80s slasher heyday.

Unfortunately, the creative qualities aren’t really enough to carry the movie by themselves. My Bloody Valentine can feel slow at times – and when combined with the lousy acting, that gets painful. There’s also the standard slasher problem where the characters are so generic, it’s hard to really build empathy for them. Often, movies are able to rise above that need due to sheer amount of gore or boobs or silliness, but My Bloody Valentine could really have used the extra help.

All in all, this is a fun footnote in the ’80s slasher parade, but I doubt it’s anyone’s favorite. Every time I watch it, I’m forced to wonder how popular it would have been if it didn’t center on Valentine’s Day as an underrated horror holiday.

Calamity Brains’ Rating: C+
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