Piranha 3D (2009) Review: 3 Bs, lots of Ds
“There’s Something in the Water”
Synopsis: After a sudden underwater tremor sets free scores of the prehistoric man-eating fish, an unlikely group of strangers must band together to stop themselves from becoming fish food for the area’s new razor-toothed residents.
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Among fishy creature features, Piranha 3D and its sequel rank pretty damn high. A loose remake of Piranha (1978), this flick is a full-on guilty pleasure and makes no attempt to hide it. Slick camera work, good music choices, and a decent plot combine with buckets of blood and over-the-top nudity to create this fun movie. Add in an all-star (and often ridiculous) cast, and you’ve got a Codex Mortis favorite. I’d be singing even higher praises right now if it weren’t for the fact that Piranha 3DD somehow manages to top its predecessor by a wide margin.
Half the fun of Piranha 3D is that while the dialogue and acting are reasonably strong, the CGI is laughably bad. The fish all look ridiculous, and even the easily scared would have a hard time finding them actually menacing. (There is, however, some decent gore done with practical effects, so those who are squeamish still might want to steer clear.)
But pretty much everything in this movie is over-the-top, from the overly sassy kids to the stereotypical nerd to the crazy scientist (Christopher Lloyd). There’s a nude underwater synchronized swim and an outboard motor used as a weapon. Jerry O’Connell plays a smarmy, Girls Gone Wild-esque producer while Elisabeth Shue tries to nail the tough lady cop trope. Adam Scott gets to be badass for a moment. Ving Rhames shoots piranha.
Honestly guys, Piranha 3D hits the babes/boobs/beasts trifecta. It’s completely ridiculous and unashamedly so. This is what campy creature features should be like. If you love silly B-movies and haven’t seen this one, you’re missing out.
Calamity Brains’ Rating: B+
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