“There’s something fishy down there.” Synopsis: After the events at Lake Victoria, the pre-historic school of blood-thirsty piranhas make their way into a newly opened water park.

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Calamity Brains:

Piranha 3DD is one of my favorite modern creature features. It’s heavy on boobs, blood, and fun, and never attempts to take itself seriously. It’s chock full of horror tropes (the slut vs. the virgin, the love triangle, the desperate attempts to get those in power to listen) and gleefully ridiculous.

When Maddy (Danielle Panabaker) returns home on summer break, she learns that her conniving stepfather Chet (David Koechner) has turned part of the family water park into an adults-only nude swim section to help make money. As they butt heads over the park, Maddy learns that the whole area may be endangered from none other than the piranha that previously terrorized Lake Victoria. As bodies (skeletons?) start dropping, she tries to delay the opening of the water park, only to inevitably fail. Naturally, a bloodbath ensues.

But the filmmakers didn’t stop there. Piranha in a nude water park wasn’t enough of a silly storyline, so they upped the ante and hired David Hasselhoff to play a stylized version of himself. He has threeways, mocks children, sings about fish – and yes, runs in slow motion. It’s glorious. Christopher Lloyd and Ving Rhames also reprise their roles from Piranha 3D (2010), upping the celebrity quotient.

If you’re into stupid, over-the-top blood gushers, you don’t want to pass this one up. Piranha 3DD isn’t “so bad it’s good,” since the madness is all deliberate… it’s just good.

Calamity Brains’ Rating: A-
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