“Enough said!” Synopsis: When a freak hurricane swamps Los Angeles, nature’s deadliest killer rules sea, land, and air as thousands of sharks terrorize the waterlogged populace.

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Ludwig von Stroodle:

Ludwig von Stroodle’s Rating: C-

Calamity Brains:

I will never be able to judge Sharknado fairly, and I admit that. When it was first being teased, I was ecstatic – the premise of a tornado full of sharks attacking people is just the kind of ridiculous I look for. Unfortunately, the movie didn’t live up to the hype. That alone, I could have forgiven, except that it’s so famous.

Creature features are my favorite subgenre. But Sharknado’s popularity meant that something I loved, something usually intended for a niche audience, was now suddenly mainstream – and it was a horrible representation of the subgenre. There are so many better examples of creature features out there to be popular, but Sharknado gets top billing. I can’t quite forgive that.

The biggest problem with this The Asylum/Syfy flick is that, despite the ridiculous premise, the movie never fully leans into the silliness. Bad acting, questionable CGI, and one-liners are only fun when the movie is laughable… and Sharknado just isn’t. All of the interpersonal scenes are weirdly serious, and even the over-the-top action sequences (a bartender rappelling down a bridge, for example) are treated as life or death moments, not FUCK YEAH action sequences. There’s just too much downtime between the fun stuff, which isn’t even that fun.

Despite a few highlights – such as the most aggressively American solution ever – I can’t recommend Sharknado. But what I can do is offer you a drinking game to get through it when your non-horror friends suggest it. You’re welcome.

Calamity Brains’ Rating: C-
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