The Slumber Party Massacre (1982) Review: Boobs & Boredom

“The Ultimate Driller Killer Thriller”

Synopsis: A high school student’s slumber party turns terrifying as an escaped mental patient with a drill decides to crash the party.

The Slumber Party Massacre (1982) Review Poster
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Calamity Brains:

Let’s get real, here: the only reason anyone watches (or remembers) The Slumber Party Massacre is because of the boobs. Everything about the movie is generic – the escaped murderer, the banal high school problems, even the use of sex to sell the movie. In between nude scenes, there’s almost no action. And to make matters worse, once the girls realize there’s a killer on the loose, the nude scenes (reasonably) stop, making the end of the movie a snoozefest. But thankfully, the movie’s not very long.

Even with a couple of random odd additions – a creepy neighbor, a slutty 14-year-old, a drill – there’s nothing remarkable about this movie. Very little effort was put into either script or direction. Everything happens in turns: the girls are nude one at a time, scream one at a time, cry one at a time. It’s as though the filmmakers weren’t ever sure what should happen, and just repeated things over and over.

When the end finally comes, it’s mercifully (and confusingly) abrupt and mostly leaves the audience with the feeling that the filmmakers ran out of money. But honestly, you won’t really care – at that point, you’ll be more than ready for the movie to be over.

The Slumber Party Massacre is the kind of thing you might put on in the background at a party or boy’s night, but you’re never going to find yourself wanting to give it your full attention. Even with the frequent boobs, it’s completely forgettable. You won’t regret watching it, but neither will you remember much about it the next day.

Calamity Brains’ Rating: D+
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Calamity Brains

The Codex Mortis Horror Hosts (Ludwig von Stroodle and Calamity Brains) are married and live in West Virginia. Pretty much everyone who sees their cabin agrees that it would be an ideal setting for a horror movie. Their pets include a black widow spider, a smart dog, and a stupid dog. When they aren’t watching horror movies, they can be found at whiskey festivals, Renaissance fairs, and board game nights.

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